Why -->this girl<-- ignored him

Originally written 11/15/06

So Lee, as I was telling you on the phone last night/this morning, I met this guy at the gym. I thought he was cute and when he asked for my number I saw no harm. We began getting to know each other through phone conversation which is when he first tricked me into believing he was normal.

We decided to meet up one night and he picked me up at my house. I got in the car, we greeted and it was all downhill from there. Immediately, he blasted the radio and started singing really bad R&B tunes at the top of his lungs. He was not good... In fact, he was terrible.

So much for the "get to know you" portion. It was about this time that I desperately looked for the cameras thinking that I was possibly on an ambush version of "Blind Date."

After what seemed like a 50 year car ride (it was only 5 minutes) we arrived at the restaurant and were seated. *Cue the awkward silence. I kind of just sat there and looked around while he said nothing. Finally, I just said, "So, want to like ask me questions or have a conversation?"

To that he responded, "Sure." *Cue awkward silence again, this time with intermittent "ummms" and "uhhs" because conversing is so absolutely difficult. After about 2-3 minutes of this he asks, "If you could change any 2 things about yourself, what would they be and why?" What?! What kind of first date question is that? Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't roll into incessant chit-chat about his ex-girlfriend, but I don't know these things.

I rushed through my food alone, seeing as to how he ordered nothing. I wrapped up the remains and we got back in his car. When both doors were closed he mentioned something about the smell of onions emanating from my doggie bag. He reached into his back seat and sprayed it with air freshener. Yeah, air freshener on my food.

At this point, I was completely checked-out of the date, and all this only in the time span of about 30-45 minutes! On the drive back home, I did as Alicia does and burped. Had I been into him it wouldn't have happened, but I really didn't care AT ALL. He handed me a bottle of Scope (the he had in his CAR) and goes, "Here, use this."

"What for," I asked, confused.

"Because I might want to kiss you later."

I threw the bottle at him and cursed him out a little bit. We got to my house and I couldn't get out of that damn car fast enough. I was just stepping into my room my cell rang... it was him.

"I just wanted to let you know that I had a really great time and I can't wait to see you again."

What the fuck date was this ass clown on?! And like I told you during our convo, he called me about 5 times after that, and I didn't respond to one. He left the token desperation message: "In case you haven't called me back because you lost/broke your phone, here's my phone number..."

So, naturally when he found me on MySpace 2 months later, you can see why I ignored him when he asked me if he wasn't my type. Am I still a bitch?