Who is she, this "Woman of the Modern Era?" She is strong, intelligent, independent, ambitious, career-oriented, goal-driven... characteristically, this woman is "The Man." S/he is me.
I recently relocated from New Jersey to Miami to Fort Lauderdale. I finally have a place of my own and my parents were in town this weekend helping me pimp my apartment. My mother, who has been married to my father for nearly 35 years, and I were in a TJ Maxx Home Goods store shopping for hodge-podge when she said, "I feel like you're getting married." To which I replied, "Hopefully, one day! Maybe some guy will be able to put up with me eventually."
This led to the dreaded conversation; the conversation every single yet hopeful young woman never wants to have. The conversation that makes her eyes well with tears and her brain scream, "OH NO SHE DI'ENT!"
My mother said, "Alicia, it's okay if you don't get married. A lot of women don't get married these days. I mean, look at my friends in Puerto Rico..."
I was freaking out a little bit inside. "Umm, well, two of your unmarried friends are a lesbian couple and your other unmarried friend is the most miserable person on Earth."
"Yeah, that's true."
What the hell was going on?!?!?! What's a girl to think when even her own mother is preparing her for the worst. My mind began jumping to conclusions uncontrollably. Did my mother maybe think I was gay? Had the stigma of the bodybuilding lifestyle infiltrated her pea brain? Did that fact that I had only the day before mentioned to her how proud my father was to, "have such a strapping young man for a daughter" plant a seed?!
As if I'm not disheartened enough with my dating situation, I don't really need my mother to come sweeping in to "save the day" by letting me know it's okay that I may have lots of money and a very successful career, but will be lonely and miserable. Though I have been preparing myself subconsciously for a life of cats, I wasn't mentally prepared to be hearing that poop spew out of that woman's mouth.
Maybe her comments are the kick in the pants I'll need to truly be able to open up to a man. I'm afraid of being vulnerable and getting hurt, but I think I'm more afraid of ending up like my mother's miserable friend. And though I love cats, I don't want to be destined for them. I don't want to play this internal game of tug-of-war anymore. I am a Woman of the Modern Era and I think I might be ready to break down this emotional barrier between me and all the king's men.
